Currently Listening Thirteenth Step By A Perfect Circle Weak and Powerless see related

"Reanimated"

Wow its been forever. Damn there 5 months since I've written here. I'm sorry all 8 1/2 of my readers and supporters. I kinda forgot this website and my subscription to it existed.

I'm currently listening to A Perfect Circle's Thirteenth Step album which a little bit of awesome and I highly recommend it. Particularly loving this verse from "Weak and Powerless" :

"Little angel, go away

come again some other day.

The Devil has my ear today, I'll never hear a word you say.

He promised I would find

a little solace and some piece of mind.

Whatever, just as long as I don't feel so..."

"Fell in love with a girl. Fell in love once and almost completely."

Yes then by doing what I thought was right and healthy for the situation, I ended up possibly temporarily ending my relationship with her. I've been going out of my mind. But I'm actually calm right now. Smoke to be light-headed and don't think about life without her. I won't have to be without her.

"The universe will unfold as it should."

I've been a bitch lately. I'm sorry. I can't control myself. I'm tired of being me and being timid and impressionable. I'm just mad and lashing out. I'm going to go crazy one day. Or go on a rampage. Kick a few random people. Whichever I run into first.

More useful shit next time. Promise.

Currently Listening What's the 411? By Mary J. Blige Sweet Thing see related

Unemployed but happy.

Lonely but loved.

How do you know you love her?

Have you hugged her?...

Heath Ledger died. WTF? and Brad Renfro died 8 days before that. What is going on? STOP DYING! well... as least stop dying so young.

Mooshu says hi. Little jittery old man looking dog. He needs another Benadryl. Wow what a jump in topics. ADD kicking in full force bitches.

School tomorrow. Excited. A reason to get out of my freaking house. Omg I was getting the cabin fever like whoa bitches like whoa. Need a job. Money is needed in high quanities around here.

Song choice is because last time I rode into Huntington with my girlfriend she sang it to me and was just all around sweet that day. I looked like this the whole time  i loved it. thats why i try to make it a point to have singing girlfriends. She makes me  on the inside.

Don't you hear me talkin' baby
Love me now or I'll go crazy
Sweet thang
Don't 'ya know you're my everythang

Currently Reading Vampirates: Demons of the Ocean (Vampirates) By Justin Somper see related

Coming live from my bedroom its Valmont! *woooo hoooo* *yaaaaaay*

   Geez, you can at least pretend to be excited. Bored as hell. Stuck home with grandmama once more. Ugh, this blows. Missing the girlfriend. Me and my mom had a fight so she can't come over anymore. Explains why I'm so disgruntled. Haven't gotten lovin' in a while. Well, I'm currently unemployed due the fact I cursed out my manager and walked out of the store. That will definitely end your career quickly. Um, bought a new book called " I <3 Female Orgasm". Its freaking awesome.

   Going to change my major. I will complete the Vet program bc I wouldn't mind becoming a vet tech. I love animals. But I really wanna help people so I want to become a sex therapist. I can help people with their problems and talk about sex all day, which truly facinates me. Can't go wrong, I think. Girlfriend is totally behind me on this bc its something I really want to do. I also, of course, want to work with GLBT people, being one myself, so that would make sense. I'll help the heteros too. I don't discriminte, everybody needs help and lovin'.

Currently Listening This Is Love, This Is Murderous By Bleeding Through Love Lost In A Hail of Gun Fire see related

if you're religious you might get offended

Sorry to say it, but I guess just for today I hate G-d.

For what he's done to my girlfriend. He took her father away.

And I fucking hate him for it.

She's hurting. I don't like hearing it,

seeing it, feeling it.

My chest hurts. Its burning. I feel her pain, the anguish, the confusion and questioning. The wondering why. Why?

Why now? Why when she seemed to need him the most, you took him from her.

If you were teaching her to be independent, to grow up, then this is the most fucked way of showing it.

And according to some people, I'm doing the most blasphemous thing ever. I'm questioning "the Almighty". I'm going to Hell for worst things so I guess this is just securing my seat on the bus. Shit happens. Ugh what the fuck man?

She hasn't been home in 3 weeks. I miss her so much. I'm worried about her. I just want her near me. She doesn't have to touch me or even speak to me. I just want her here, near me. I can't take it, her being away for so long. Its driving me crazy. Ugh.

I didn't even get to see my mother today.

And from now on, my birthday will always mark the 10th month of his death, for years on and on. Thanks a lot. 

Currently Listening Diary of a Mad Band By Jodeci Love U 4 Life see related

Wow, So Its been even longer now

So I have fans...

  Sweet. Now what to write about...

 I was recently on television for National Coming Out Day. Saved me a lot of conversations and that was the best part. And everyone who found out about my gayness already knew (no surprise there). I'm happy people actually saw it.  

NEWSFLASH: I HAVE A NEW GIRLFRIEND

 I'm sprung. Like really. The thought of waking up next to someone else besides her scares me a bit.  Not to get sappy or anything, it just kinda happened.  Its almost been 2 months. I hope this lasts. I will make it so.  I thinky its the L word. Wow, so soon. Hey, when you feel it thats when its happening I guess. Wow...  I love it. The lack of doubt. The reassurance.

Date older women. She's 25 but she acts like she's going on 6. Its freaking adorable and makes things even out. When a grown woman stomps and has a temper tantrum in the department store, you're definitely mature enough for each other.  love you babe.

PSST..DON'T TELL HER I WROTE THAT. THAT MEANS YOU GABBY. stop your giggling.

 My writing and overactive imagination has paid off. Over the summer, I had two of my stories posted on an erotica website and I got a lot of feedback. I'm thinking of posting another. Anyone interested, I'll give you the link and such.

On another random note, I have to euthanise a lab mouse for school. Not really digging that too much. Its a girl. Any name suggestions? I hate referring to her as 51...